did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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