you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
