I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
