Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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