jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
