Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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