Do you still have your period?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
