this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
