yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
