Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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