dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
