so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
