I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
