Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
