You can't special order awesome
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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