I heard we made out
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
