She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
