kristin has been a bad kristin
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
