i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
