they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize