Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
