Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
