Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
