i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I love you. Go after that dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
