Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The best revenge is premature balding
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize