I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
