That's intense
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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