VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
