I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
