is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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