16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
