Umm I'm too high to move.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
