Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize