it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
