He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
