pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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