question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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