All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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