I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
