Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
