Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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