...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
