Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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