That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize