I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
