nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
