I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
