So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
