it hurts more in the daytime
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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