It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
