Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
