I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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