i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
