This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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