fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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