Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
