Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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