and next time when you feel me up, do it right
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
