i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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