so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
