I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
