Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
