she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
