She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
