i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
