Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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