You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
