You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
