She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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