she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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