In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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