In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
soo... how was my night?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
